His journey called "Life" never ends, in that, his beingness is ever lasting, no matter what form he may be in.
He is given only a short time on this earth to collect his thoughts, to find and make peace with himself and those
around him. (How The Human Mind creates, The World Explained unique video (HERE)
He must put all the notions he believes has defined him away and come to a new reality of himself.
I, like most males have felt the gantlet of male emotions. I felt depression, anger and rage.
I have been a prisoner of pride and hatred. I finally realized the meaning of love rather than lust. But in terms of
handling emotions, I only have stories to tell regarding my experiences and my accounts of what I have
witnessed in others. Again, these are just my observations. I have no ideal what others are feeling.
This story may seem harsh for my readers who have grown up in protected environments, just to warn you
ahead of time.
Apparently, he was living with his wife and children in a rather seedy part of our small town. After a few mornings
with us in group we appeared to have earned his trust because he unloaded the entire smorgasbord of his
emotions on the group.
Apparently, one of his neighbors was a drug dealer with a fetish for little boys. Our group member had recently
moved his family into this neighborhood to later realize that this drug dealer had been raping one of the little
boys whose parents were customers of the drug dealer and did not, or refused to realize what the drug dealer
was doing to their son.
Because drug dealers often have needy people who place the value of the drugs over the value of human life,
no one would side with our group member to help prevent this drug dealer from his continuous harm of this 10
year old boy.
The little boy was still wearing diapers because the muscles in his anus were damaged. The little boy had,
apparently learned to separate himself from the pain and embarrassment. Apparently, the little boy felt that at
least he was gaining the attention of an adult, so he must have felt that this was just how it was. His lot in life.
Well, needless to say, our member was outraged at this relationship and at others for their unwillingness to
realize this abuse.
After our new member had expressed his concern, the group then tried to help him to understand the God grant
us the serenity prayer. However, our member must have felt like we were saying that he was powerless to
change the dynamics and before we could further explain to him how he might gain enough support through law
enforcement without repercussion aimed at his family, he jumped up, got in his van and peeled rubber down the
street.
What was this man feeling? Powerless? Support-less? Or was he just using the dynamics of this to allow himself
to drink? I will never know. However, two weeks later word came to us that he had hit a young mother head on
with his van while he was drunk.
Because he refused to give the group consensus a chance, now the 10 year old no longer had a protector, his
family no longer had a provider and a young mother now had motherless children, and all because he would not
hear sound group consensus, but chose to drink instead.
You talk about a bunch of sad people! But what were we to do? If we could have tied him to a chair, we would
have. If we could have called law enforcement, we would have, but he was not drunk when he left and he was
not threatening bodily harm towards anyone.
Free-will was taking our members one every few months and all we could do was pray for God's will to be done.
We realized for every one of us sitting in those rooms of recovery from the hurts and harms of life, a thousand
more were still out there still running amuck, refusing to seek help.
Here is an excerpt from a paper I wrote while training to work in the field. Although the below examples are rather
extreme, I feel they are relevant because if we do not learn to express our emotions through a controlled release
process, some of us have a propensity towards mental break downs, such as we witnessed with our friend
above.
“Delusions brought on by depression can cause people to have false beliefs that are inconsistent with reality.
People with these delusions report odd disease and many insist that their body and or brain is disintegrating.
Biological studies have theorized that low nonepinephrine levels in the brain can cause these delusions.
Cognitive theorists theorize that depression is a learned behavior. They believe that people who have not
learned proper social skills are punished for dysfunctional behaviors. Therefore, these see the world as adverse
and depressing. These specialists believe that people are shamed into depression. This theory believes that
children learn depression from their close family members.
Depressed people feel they do not have ample support. Therefore, this lack of security creates a even more
depressing state of mind for them. Some theorize that depression comes after people begin to feel they can not
control their negative environment.
Schizophrenia covers a wide range of mental disorders. This disorder is characterized by a lack of having a
logical thought processing, and by the deterioration of social functioning. Because they are unable to cope with
an ordinary life style, the symptoms develop causing significant changes in the thought process, perception,
mood, and their overall behavior begins to deteriorate over time.
Delusions of persecution are brought on by a world that is charged with negative responses. The schizophrenic
can even receive feelings of grandeur believing that they are an important person in society.
Hallucinations of the perceptual type, visual, tactile, olfactory, or auditory are brought on by unseen forces.
Auditory hallucinations appear to be the most well known of the symptoms. People have reported hearing voices
from within their heads. These voices seem to cause the individual shame for acting out in a socially
unacceptable behavior.
Some people have reported that some of these voices give symbolic advice on how to live within socially
acceptable boundaries, whereas others encourage unacceptable behavior using obnoxious voices.”
It is apparent to me that fear causes the brain’s neurotransmitters to flood certain chemicals while others are
held back, but all causing an imbalance that would normally help maintain homeostasis. Then the out of balance
system allows for adverse feelings to begin. I believe it is fear that is passed from parent to the child, therefore,
it must be the fear that is the learned behavior.
However, after years of living and working with those who are suffering, I have discovered that the support of
others can, and will help relieve the pain of unwanted emotional bondage. But rest assured there are those who
enjoy the attention, thus have a difficult time relinquishing their emotional bondage over others.
If those who are suffering feel they need medication until they feel comfortable enough to join a support group,
by all means get them medication. However, be careful.
Emotions are neither good nor bad, they just are. All negative emotions are statements made to express fear,
and I am often lead to believe that even pride finds its foundation in fear.
Why are we so fearful you ask? We live in a constant state of fear that we will be deprived of what we require the
most; Love. Anger is one of the best examples of this statement. When we do not get our way, we often pout or
throw a fit. All negative emotions serve the soul purpose of expressing our lack of feeling loved or lacking control
over our environment.
ANGER MANAGEMENT
Here are some on-line anger management techniques that will help
Education/Treatment -
Controlling Anger (HERE) or Anger Management-techniques (HERE)
Control! If we can not control our need for love, we then go to work trying to control our lover or loved ones
through a series of emotions hoping to place them in a type of bondage to our needs. Women often use the
entire smorgasbord to be heard! When everything else fails, we then resort to anger to acquire our need for
love and acceptance.
Because love is a willing dependency placed on others, feeling the loss of love, or not feeling that we have been
heard and understood cuts at the very core of our being. Now that we understand why we are so complicated,
and how we use that complication to our disadvantage, let us now explore anger.
Let us now set the rules of engagement regarding anger. Emotions are designed to teach us lessons.
Therefore, when a negative emotion surfaces ask it where it is coming from. One must learn to ask the correct
questions in order to receive the correct answers. One must learn how to express their feelings in an honest,
rational and logical manner, because most people are not mind readers. More often than not, it is the pride
monster that demands our silence. Therefore, pride is the killer. Pride does walk ahead to show destruction the
way.
Because anger is a forerunner in the minds of most people, especially men, one must commit to counting to ten
when one begins to feel angry. This act allows one the time required for the inner voice of within to be heard, to
aid in our recovery.
Now let us explore the two types of anger. Self anger stems from our rejection of ourselves. Whereas, others
anger is directed at others. However, both find their roots in the same anger we feel towards your-self. Think
about this! When we become angry at others it is because we feel that we are not being heard, and that we can
not control those who we wish to control.
Better to learn how to accept the fact that we can not control the wills of others, as even The Author of Life does
not appear to have this desire, but rather appears to teach us attraction rather than promotion.
For more see Healing The Spiritt
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