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Denial


Having spent countless hours in AA and NA meetings
one common theme I often noticed within most new
members was that they seemed to believe they were the
only national thinker, and that it was everyone else
who had been mislead.

They would often go on for hours talking about what they
believed happen to them which caused their addiction.

Their justifications for were endless. I heard it all.

Some of their stories were so horrific that I could
understand why they had used alcohol or others drugs
trying to forget the memories and mask their mental anguish   

However, it seemed as if they had spent so much of their lives
blaming others in order to justify their own behavior,
that they were now incapable of seeing the 4 ton
elephant in the room.   

I often watched them search for the co-dependent
personality types in the room rally for their support,
or they'd begin taking the inventory of others in order to direct the
attention onto someone else..

If it had not been that their resolve had, either caused
them jail time, or that their children had been removed
from their care, most of them would never have been in
a meeting, but rather they would have continued
living within their justifications.

All the other members could do was to ask them to
"sit down, take the cotton out of their ears and put it in
their mouth and wait for a moment of clarity".

Obviously, the most difficult task for a sponsor is to help
the addict learn how to deal with their emotions without
the use of alcohol or other drugs.

What is Denial?

Denial is a psychological mechanism or process by which humans protect themselves from a threatening reality. Is self-will’s
illusion of power which demands adverse addictions by overshadowing or clouding one’s ability to realize a set of negative
circumstances or events on their horizon.

Denial is an illusion of power that is always demonstrated by continued attempts to do what is perceived to be correct thinking
through our own self-will only to be defeated again and again. Denial is a form of insanity.

Denial:

Blames other people, places and things for everything that goes wrong in their world.

D - defensive

E - emotional

N - negative

I - immature

A - angry

L - lonely


Symptoms of Denial:

I'd rather die than;

Admit that I can't enjoy my adverse addition(s).

Admit to anyone that they know more than I do.

Ask for anyone's help.

Take a long hard look at my own-self.

To expose my weakness to anyone.

Change how I think, thus how I behave.

Admit that I've hurt others.

Swallow my pride.

Admit that I am wrong.

Denial works to impair judgment, thus resulting in a self-delusional state of mind which locks the individual into an ever
increasingly destructive pattern or lifestyle. This process has many faces that manifests its-self in any of the following forms;

Simple denial - maintaining that something is not so, which has been made obvious to others.

Minimizing - admitting superficially to a problem but refuses to realize the seriousness of its scope.

Blaming or projecting - denying responsibility for certain behaviors, by fixing blame on something or someone other than on
one's own self.

Rationalizing - offering alibis, excuses for, justification or other explanations as the causes for.

Intellectualizing - avoiding emotional or personal connection to or an awareness of a problem by dealing with it on a level of
generalization, intellectual analysis, or theorizing.

Diversion - changing the subject to avoid discussion of any topic that is threatening.

Hostility - becoming angry or irritable when references are made regarding the problem as being a security breach to others.
Defense is engaged to back the unwanted challenger away.

Denial is so automatic that it operates well below the level of awareness. Therefore, the affected individual does not
realize that he/she is even effected by self-aggrandised illusion.

Denial is progressive, in that, it allows effected individuals to set up an elaborate system of denial mechanisms that
demand that the entire personality must change in order to meet the challenges of the new reality. Those living in denial
slowly begin to believe their own self-taught lies as being gospel truths. Many well intended loved one’s also live in denial that
they are part of the problem, thinking rather, that they are part of the solution - Please see
co-dependency.

Obviously, denial is used as a counter measure to justify whatever it is we wish to justify.

And the sooner we realize that we are all our own worse enemy, stop blaming and taking the inventory of others and learn to
become willing to take responsibility for our own-selves, the better off we will all be.
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