In a support group this man continues to deny his faults, thus causing him to take the inventory of other’s
stench. This act protects him from realizing his own folly.
Service-to-self man will then rally for the support of others. However, his self-rightness causes him to wonder
why his tears only convince co-dependents to feel sorry for him. After all, it is his pride which comes before his
fall, thus, leaving him lonely within himself.
What is Denial?
Denial is a psychological mechanism or process by which humans protect themselves from a threatening reality.
Is self-will’s illusion of power which demands adverse addictions by overshadowing or clouding one’s ability to
realize a set of negative circumstances or events on their horizon.
Denial is an illusion of power that is always demonstrated by continued attempts to do what is perceived to be
correct thinking through our own self-will only to be defeated again and again, as denial is a form of insanity.
Denial:
Blames other people, places and things for every thing that goes wrong in their world.
D - defensive
E - emotional
N - negative
I - immature
A - angry
L - lonely
Symptoms of Denial:
I'd rather die than;
Admit that I can't enjoy my adverse addition(s).
Admit to other people that they know more than I do.
Ask for any one's help.
Take a long hard look at myself.
To expose my weakness to another person.
Change my mind.
Admit that I've hurt other people.
Swallow my pride in front of the people I've hurt.
Admit that I'm wrong.
Help anyone else.
Self-will's denial works to impair judgment, thus resulting in a self-delusional state of mind which locks the
individual into an ever increasingly destructive pattern or lifestyle. This process has many faces that manifests
its-self in any of the following forms;
Simple denial - maintaining that something is not so, which has been made obvious to others.
Minimizing - admitting superficially to a problem but refuses to realize the seriousness of its scope.
Blaming or projecting - denying responsibility for certain behaviors, by fixing blame on something or someone
other than on one's own self.
Rationalizing - offering alibis, excuses for, justification or other explanations as the causes for.
Intellectualizing - avoiding emotional or personal connection to or an awareness of a problem by dealing with it
on a level of generalization, intellectual analysis, or theorizing.
Diversion - changing the subject to avoid discussion of any topic that is threatening.
Hostility - becoming angry or irritable when references are made regarding the problem as being a security
breach to others. Defense is engaged to back the unwanted challenger away.
Denial is so automatic that it operates well below the level of awareness. Therefore, the affected
individual does not realize that he/she is engaged in this act of illusion.
Denial is progressive, in that, it allows effected individuals to set up an elaborate system of denial
mechanisms that demand that the entire personality must change in order to meet the challenges of the new
reality. Those living in denial slowly begin to believe their own self-taught lies as being gospel truths. Many well
intended loved one’s live in denial that they are part of the problem, thinking, rather, that they are part of the
solution - Please also see co-dependency.
Well there is the run down on one of the most destructive forces in the universe. I could write for days and
days on this subject. I have a thick file I could scan to fill many pages here. However, it is best summed up with
this one statement; Have you ever seen an elephant trying to hide behind a monkey? I have witnessed every
one of these tactics claimed in this text, in both my own life, as well as in the lives of those who I have worked
with. If it were not so sad, it would be funny!
This service-to-self mentality has taken more life than every battle that man has ever waged. And again it
stems from fear! Example; I fear that my ulterior motive is going to be realized by others. My pride then tells me
that I must hide my agenda. This form of insanity helps me to deny what is so obvious to those around me.
Overcoming Denial:
There is but one way to defeat selfish will
Abstinence is denials only enemy. It is not until a person has space and the element of time on their side will
they be allowed a rational view, and this brief moment of clarity is only gifted to those willing to view the
enormous hole that these have dug for their-self while engaged, in this, a most destructive force, the insanity
of self-will.
The sooner we realize we are our own problem, the sooner we become willing to ask for help, the sooner
we receive.
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